It’s taken me this long to talk about it. To really say what I feel. It’s a mere 40 days yet the trauma is still fresh in our minds, hearts and souls. Losing loved ones is never easy; losing them this way is the hardest.

Forty days ago, I watched as my family’s life was turned upside down. My cousin lost his wife and four kids in a dreadful fire that no one could comprehend least of all him and my dearest aunt and uncle. His siblings also suffer along with him and so does the rest of the family. In five short years that he has been married, he has fathered four children and watched his family perish before him.

The difficult part is attempting to put the family back together. The fact that he survived hasn’t been easy on him nor her family, but all we hope for is that Allah (God) makes it easier for each of us.

Helping him put back the pieces of his life has been a challenge. He along with his wife ran a home business in which they sold chicken to people. We’ve started getting his business back in order but some beg to ask, how can he so quickly recover, so quickly go back to running a business? It’s not easy but he has to. If he didn’t he would lose his mind thinking about his children and his wife. We all recall stories but nothing compares to a father’s memories.

I write this knowing that some person in my family or in his in-laws would read this and not approve. But sharing the hurt helps me, just a little.

I’ve been strong for my cousins – his siblings because when I moved up to Johannesburg they were my homes away from home. They cared for me every time I was sick or made sure I was ok after having an accident or whatever the situation may have been. Now I try to return the favour even if it means staying at their homes so they are never alone over the weekend, even if I am fast asleep in another room and they are having sleepless nights. The thought that there is someone around helps strengthen them.

I wish I could do more for my aunt, my dad’s eldest sister, but nothing can help ease the pain knowing your grandchildren have left this world before you.

I pray every day that it gets easier. Suraya, Mohammed Uzair, Fatima Zahra, Laeeqah and Mohammed Zubair – their names will be with us always. May Allah grant them Janaat-ul-Firdous and may he make it easier on the family.

A home they moved into only a month before

People usually tell me my life is exciting but these last two days steal the cake for this month. Yesterday, 17 November 2010, was Eid ul Adha. One of the times I love most and I love going home, Durban and spending it with the family. This year was no different except that I had all of one day at home to celebrate it. Flew down early in the morning and flew back the next morning. Exciting times!

Eid was a little different this year. Headed out to Inchanga Islamic Centre as usual to cut my Qurbani [sheep] and ended up staying to help my uncle who was short staffed. He runs proceedings at the centre and helps facilitate the entire Qurbani process. Having stayed longer it was interesting to see my cousin who normally would never get involved stay and help as well. She is really a girly girl and even though six months my junior we are like toasted chalk and cheese. So different but so together, if you catch my drift.

Then it was loads of family time and that I love most in the world. I have this motto: “Family First” and so far I’ve always managed to stick with it. So much so that at times I miss out on some pretty exciting opportunities, but family is my life and that’s the way it should be. So happens that my extended family – aunts, uncles, cousins – are so close to me that not spending enough time with them, is sometimes actually bad for me and makes me moody. Go figure!

More excitement arrived today, 18 November 2010. I managed to get pick pocketed at OR Tambo International Airport on returning to miserable, coldish Johannesburg. Sigh. Running around like a frantic chicken with out a head is definitely a sight to see. I’ve been fortunate in the past that this has never happened to me and I am grateful that the incident this morning did not have anything to do with being held up or threatened or confronted in any way. Also I am grateful that the only thing they managed to take was my cellphone and not my wallet also lying in the same bag.

Today is Thankful Thursday and I am thankful, for family, friends and moments that even though bad have a silver lining in them.

My sisters amazing Eclairs - she caters for Durban

Nazar doing what he loves doing

Someone told me that the best way for me to heal is to write what someone means to me. I am a writer and a blogger but sometimes words are hard to put down. How do you say goodbye to a friend? How do you let go even though they’ve only been a part of your life a short few months?

Knowing that the friendship I had for such a short time impacted me greatly, so greatly that hearing of your death all I can do is cry. Writing this is as hard as saying bye knowing the rest of the team and I will never hear your laugh, your wisecrack comments. Knowing that I can’t IM you even though you a desk away. Knowing that I can’t turn to you in one of our insane moments looking for ‘sweeties’. These small things are what I will miss the most.

Knowing that I only knew a small part of your life and not the entire picture. Knowing that I will never have the chance to know the full picture. It hurts! It hurts so much not being able to say goodbye.

You joined the team so recently, as recent as mine, but your beautiful heart, kind smile and willingness to help all of us will never be forgotten.

On another note, your band mates will sorely miss your insane guitar skills and Warthane will never be the same after losing one as great as yourself. Your mates and your family will miss you the most, but knowing how you touched my life will never be forgotten. Dear Nazar, who will sit next to me at lunch and eat everything with tomato sauce. Small memories and small moments make me forever blessed in knowing you.

Love you always… RIP Nazar Berezovsky 8/10/10

It’s not easy losing someone as awesome as Nazar but is also not easy losing old campus mates like Nadeem. To lose two people in three days makes life unbearable. Nadeem, I know that the way you suffered at the end, losing you may be the best thing for you. It hurts knowing I lost touch with you recently but you will always be remembered. Moments on campus, moments at the flat will never be forgotten.

Love always – RIP Nadeem 10/10/10 [11/10/10] Innalillahi wa inna illayhi raaji’oon

To all those who lose people, I know how you feel. Sadly each of us need our own ways to cope and recover. This is mine. This also makes the people I lose forever a part of me.

So its been a while and the reason I never lived up to my promise of blogging at least once a week, was because for the most part I had no passion in me to blog. The other part I got swamped with work and took on more then I could handle with some freebie work I was doing. Yes say it, I know you thinking it anyway – Douche Bag I am!

So the passion to write is slowly returning and the freebie work that I was doing was actually all about writing. I was writing blog posts and reviews for some sites out there. [No I am not sharing it with you, if you find it you do, if not it doesn’t have anything to do with you.]

I’ve also been jamming up my weekends with the Football mania that is gripping my beautiful country South Africa.

Managed to make it to the opening game of Soccer City, Johannesburg. Thanks to my lovely friend Aasia for organising the tickets and making sure I got there. Was so unreal to hear about 80 000 plus [close on to 95 000 I hear] fans blowing vuvuzelas*, cheering their team and bottom line getting into the spirit of the 2010 FIFA World Cup, though it was a Nedbank Cup final between Wits University and AmaZulus.

Capacity crowds at the opening of Soccer City

Then Sunday was all about chilling but Monday brought on another bought of Football Fever. Headed to Soweto once again to see my country South Africa take on Bulgaria. I felt the stadium tremble under the feet of the supporters, I head shouts and screams and vuvuzelas from people of every colour and race. I felt a country united and I had goosebumps, not from the cold, the entire night.

I also learnt that my country will be behind the player 101% even when we know they could be doing better, much better.

I could criticize the players here but that’s for a different blog and a different audience.

Orlando Stadium, Soweto, behind Bafana Bafana 101%

Another exciting and interesting event in the last four days with regards to football was the Kia Street Soccer experience. I watched Under 13’s play with such skill that would make grown men feel ashamed. I heard the streets of Alexandra township come alive cheering for teams of 6 players which had to have 2 girls in their team play to win a trophy. Also I heard that Kia will be taking all 4000 kids who participated in Johannesburg, Cape Town and Durban to a 2010 FIFA World Cup game, to be part of it and for these underprivileged kids to be able to say “I was there”.

Makes me realise that this world is such a beautiful place with so many great people who will always try to make a difference in peoples lives no matter what.

Winning team from the Kia Street Soccer - Soweto Young Ones

Thank you to the beautiful people out there with the biggest hearts.

PS: Did I mention I also watched GREASE at the theatro on Tuesday. Was amazing and once again Thank you to Aasia.

*Vuvuzelas: are horns or trumpets that are blown at almost every football game in South Africa. It increases the experience by 10 folds but can leave you hard of hearing or short of breath or even both . More info find it here and for pics you can find here.

We condemn in the strongest possible terms the reprisals against journalists by Shivambu. His actions constitute a blatant attack on media freedom and a grave infringement on Constitutional rights. It is a disturbing step towards dictatorial rule in South Africa.

We call on the ANC and the ANC Youth League to distance themselves from the actions of Shivambu. The media have, time and again, been a vital democratic safeguard by exposing the actions of individuals who have abused their positions of power for personal and political gain.

The press have played a vital role in the liberation struggle, operating under difficult and often dangerous conditions to document some of the most crucial moments in the struggle against apartheid. It is therefore distressing to note that certain people within the ruling party are willing to maliciously target journalists by invading their privacy and threatening their colleagues in a bid to silence them in their legitimate work.

We also note the breathtaking hubris displayed by Shivambu and the ANC Youth League President Julius Malema in their response to the letter of complaint. Shivambu and Malema clearly have no respect for the media and the rights afforded to the media by the Constitution of South Africa. Such a response serves only to reinforce the position that the motive for leaking the so-called dossier was not a legitimate concern, but a insolent effort to intimidate and bully a journalist who had exposed embarrassing information about the Youth League President.

We urge the ANC as a whole to reaffirm its commitment to media freedom and other Constitutional rights we enjoy as a country.

Blog Roll

http://thoughtleader.co.za/siphohlongwane
http://rwrant.co.za
http://vocfm.co.za/blogs/munadia/
http://vocfm.co.za/blogs/shafiqmorton/
http://blogs.news24.com/needpoint
http://capetowngirl.co.za
http://thoughtleader.co.za/sentletsediakanyo
http://thoughtleader.co.za/davidjsmith
http://letterdash.com/one-eye-only
http://boyuninterrupted.blogspot.com
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http://6000.co.za
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http://thelifeanddeathchronicles.blogspot.com/
http://blogs.timeslive.co.za/common-dialogue/
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http://blogs.news24.com/FSB_AP
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http://whensmokegetsinyoureyes.blogspot.com/
http://trinklebean.wordpress.com
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http://matthewbuckland.com
http://blogs.news24.com/colour-me-fran
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http://gnatj.com
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http://www.exmi.co.za

http://fsi.org.za/

http://www.zahira.co.za

http://synapses.co.za
http://www.macgeek.co.za
http://greenwitch-musings.blogspot.com/

Yes I wanted to post it because… I CAN!!!

The advantages and disadvantages of having more than 19 kids

In this day and age, most people stop procreating at around three or four kids. If you’re Brangelina, you go up to six. But if you’re tempted to continue until you have more than 19 kids, here are the significant advantages and disadvantages:

The advantages

• You have a complete soccer team… and then some
• Fathers Day or Mothers Day is a real cash cow
• Chances are there’s a huge age difference between your oldest and youngest – so you’ll always have a babysitter
• Hand me down clothes are a real cost saving
• You’ll have at least 70 grandchildren and probably 180 great grandchildren
• You become the poster child for family planning
• You can run your own family business and never have to deal with the CCMA
• You will never be lonely… ever

The disadvantages

• You will never remember all their names or birthdays
• 20 kids equals at least one kiddies’ birthday party each month – have you ever been to a kiddies’ birthday party? Pure hell I tell you
• Imagine how many parent-teacher evenings you have to attend
• You will have to rent a bus for family outings
• Father Christmas will give your house a skip completely because it’s just too damn expensive
• Two words: medical bills
• Another two words: school bills
• One washing machine just won’t cut it
• You will always be broke
• You will be old young
• When you’re old, you’ll be the ping pong parent as they try fob you off on each other
• You have to have two and a half dinner and cutlery sets, and a really long dining room table
• You will never be able to touch the TV remote
• You will never be alone… ever

Nelson Mandela's walk to freedom - 11 February 1990

On this day 20 years ago one of the greatest men walked out of prison to the welcoming arms of his people.

Many people in South Africa today are remembering this day, but like many I was one of those too young to realise the meaning of it all. Sure my parents had set me down countless times and told me why this day was important and who Nelson Mandela was, but a six-year old only knows the excitement that surrounds her and not what is happening. I remember running around the room waiting to see the first images of the man everyone kept talking about.

Not only was is a memorable day because of his release to me, but it was also a hot, sunny one in Durban, meaning pool time for sure. Yes, thats how I remember it.

One thing though that everyone today seems to be forgetting is the if it wasn’t for the push and the person FW de Klerk is, we really would not be having much to celebrate. Mandela is a great man especially for calling for peace and holding a country together which threatened to spill the blood of innocent people, but I personally also have to give credit to de Klerk. Yes, he was part of the Apartheid system, yes his morals and ethics need questioning but he did set free the man who brought this nation together.

Thank you to de Klerk and thank you very very much to Tata Madiba, for giving me the opportunity to grow up FREE and to let me finish school, go to campus and be the person I want to be – in – SOUTH AFRICA!!!

***YouTube vid of the events of that day…20 years ago!!!***
BBC News: Nelson Mandela released from prison

blog more often…blog about sense more often…must blog…blog…vlog…keep blogging…make time to blog…blog more often…yes blog…trying blogging…love blogging again…tell stories on my blog…yes i must…yes i will…yes…yes…yes!!!!

Delusional illusions always find me wondering if I am doing the right thing or not. For now I think I am and that’s all that matters.

So you asking yourself what am I going on about. Well I have changed professions. And moved to an amazing company. It’s all pretty cool and exciting and interesting. I may have sold my soul to agency life but for now it’s definitely the place I want to be at.

So I’m the newbie at Cerebra/Brandsh. Yes confusing, as I have no idea where I fall in as yet but apparently on both sides. Not that I’m complaining. This is me loving it!!

The new offices are pretty cool as well. I love the colours and I’m such a g33k for brightness. Apparently after my first day yesterday, I was over enthusiastic explaining the colours to my flatmate. Well they awesome and a def change from what I am usually use to.

This is definitely an entire new ball game for me. So hoping everyone prays for me.

Over and out!!

yes only in Johannesburg do you get snow in Summer. You wondering what the hell I’m going on about…well…last Friday saw me caught in a fierce hectic Hail Storm in Johannesburg. It hailed so much and so badly i was wondering if my poor car would survive the onslaught. The ground became iced sleet and the side walks, roofs, gardens covered in ice that blanket every surface making it look like snow.