The last week and this have been a crazy time and I know its not going to be any easier. My darling cousin got proposed/engaged to a friend of mine which is brilliant for me – I think. You maybe wondering why I wrote it as ‘proposal/engaged’, well that’s because I realized that to me it all means the same. I personally think that we – Indians – have a tendency of wanting to do too much. They come see the girl, then they come propose, then they have engagement, then its mendhi before the wedding, and even maybe a qwaali [think I spelt that wrong but it’s a music night or something], then its kataam night for the Muslims [were the Quran is completed to give the new couple blessing]
AND THEN is the wedding…and walimah. So the problem was that none of us knew what to call this little event that took place. The boy’s side came and they put the ‘chain’ so I’m calling it an engagement…
Another thing that I maybe at fault in doing is that I’m looking too much into this thing. You lost as to what I’m talking about right? Well I mean it’s my fav cousin [who is only 6months my junior] and a friend of mine who I get along with brilliantly. So it should work out perfectly …right? Or maybe not. [I am not talking about their marriage here but about my relationship with them]. I mean who am I to think that I can 24/7 hang out with them when they all married. Eish the issues lol but I’m over glad its them together. They happy and good together and the advantage is that I can barge into their home when ever. **big grin on my face**cheeks and all**
Though people are thinking that I would be next since she got hitched but I keep reminding them that I’m not ready for it nor do I want it right now. “I have too much to do and too much to see.” But they have it stuck still in their heads that I will casually find someone all of a sudden and get buckled. Like I mean do they not realize that my life is now definitely off on a tangent to another place? At one stage I may have welcomed the fact that I would find someone or had found someone to settle down with, but recently I realized the more I stayed away from home and the more I got to know me, the more I didn’t want it. Don’t get me wrong… if someone comes along and its meant to be it will be and I will not stop the process, but right now I will definitely not see what is in front of me because I choose not to. I choose to see what life has to offer me with out the need of having to have a better half. They say the better half would complete me and that I will see the world with him in a different light but I want to see it in the light that belongs solely to me. “Mine all mine.” Selfish as that may sound I know that if I didn’t try to do everything I wanted to now I would regret jumping into something I don’t want at the moment.
“I will get married to the one I want and need, when I want and need him, not before and not after.”
[maybe one day I will choke on those words but till then I will live with it!]
On to more brilliant and informative issues. I have come to realize that the world is a whole lot of superficial hogwash. Economic crisis, financial meltdown, food crisis, climate crisis, war crisis, nuclear crisis…damn only CRISIS’!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Now really [come to think of it why would you get married and have kids with all these crisis’?] is this what the world is coming to? At the moment with the job I have I seem to be only coming across the bad in the world. Its making me grow a thicker skin that I feel I am loosing myself. I’m at that point were if I don’t step back these issues and the human suffering that comes with it will wash of my back and mean nothing to me. Its like watching the bad on tv continuously so that it goes in one ear comes out another and that you don’t give a flying F^%k what happens. “if its not me or my family why should I bother?” Emotionally detachment from all that surrounds you.
With out human emotion there is no love, no hope and no promise of a better tomorrow…
PS: wonder if anyone got my title 😉
PPS: Watching the US elections closely…finally stretch…what surprises are in store?!?!? Anyone?
And have you noticed how the elections are overshadowing the financial meltdown? Attention has moved away from the bail outs and are now on Sarah Palins phathetic attempts at dressing and economics….Palin and Bush = Dumb and Dumber 😛